dear diaRY

Losing Battle

2010-05-23T11:39:00.000+08:00

Maybe it i just meant to be...

i am always fighting a losing battle...

Never on the winning side...

Till now I have no idea what i am doing...

Nothing i do is ever good enough for anyone to appreciate..

I am no superhuman, I have feelings too...

Everyone just selfishly think for themselves but expect others to understand, care, be thoughtful

At the end, i have only myself to blame..

Who ask me to give so much?

Who ask me to care for others

Who ask me to be understanding always

No one... Its just me being too busybody..

I should just mind my own FUCKING business like everyone else...

Then i wouldn't feel so hurt and pain inside

This is always de usual case..

Nothing special..

Happen again n again n again

I never learnt my lesson

Ended up doing the same thing again n again

How stupid can one get...

That is me...

The dumbest one of all mankind

Miracle dun exist for dumb people.

Making it possible just dun work for no brainer like me

I highly over estimated myself..

Thinking that 'Maybe'

There is just no maybe..

Either a Yes or a No

Is she a bitch?

2010-05-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

Recently i heard a story that if u hooked up with your fren's ex bf, then u are d bitch...
I din know there is a rule not to date fren's ex bf?
Is it true?
I mean it is not like it is like right after they break up?
is it a total no no or there is a time frame to it

Can anyone explain to me?
i really dun understand..

I mean i dun mind if anyone of my fren wanna date my ex bf..
not that there is anyone u know wan to.. lols..

so is it a girl crime to date your fren bf?

Shontelle- Impossible

2010-05-07T14:31:00.001+08:00

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

* sometimes when i think back, this is how i feel guess, not that i am still in love but the pain is just that unbearable!

Mariah Carey Ft Ne-yo - Angel Cry

2010-05-07T14:29:00.001+08:00

Mariah:
I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you said
We could've made everything OK
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Super natural love conquers all
'Member we used to touch the sky
And

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

Ne-Yo:
I thought we'd be forever and always
You were serenity
You took away the bad days
Didn't always treat you right
But it was OK
I do somethin' stupid
And you still stay with me

But you can only go for so long
Doing the one you claim to love wrong
Before too much is enough
You look up
Find your love gone
And

We were so good together
How come we could not weather
This storm and just do better
Why did we say goodbye

'Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Now every night
I feel the angels cry

Mariah & Ne-Yo:
C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Oh babe, the angels cry

* this lyrics hold dearly to my heart, felt like this was meant for me...

Moments before you sleep...

2010-04-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

It is 11.55pm, just finish shower.. just finish cooking my all-in-1 porridge for tomolo breakfast...
My sweats is like freeflow even though i just finish shower only... damn!!
Anyways, i am having 1 small little bowl of my porridge because it look so tempting in the pot, as if it was calling out to me to eat it...
Raining with thunderstorm and light though it is not heavy...
My internet sucks at the moment.. but i still manage to type this post...

Lately I am slowly picking up my slacking life back to order...
Having a test this week fri, Law - 4 steps process.. am gonna suck big time..
Despite that i think i did well on my test 1 n 2, got (10 out of 15%) & (14.5 out of 20%)... not exceptionally well but it is good enuff for me.. hehe...
Fren comin from kl tomolo... Convo this week...
Might have a photoshoot for glasses this week.. but i dun really have any confident doin it because i dun feel good about myself.. when u dont feel good bout yourself.. nothing feels good...

Dunno why my mood is a bit cranky lately.. as per my roommate i am always cranky.. i dun deny just that i never get to calm down n relax.. as if my mind is not in my head.. i remember this but i forget that...
Hmmm... is that de sign of getting old.... oh no... no beauty.. no body... no looks... now no brain.. i am a goner...nobody wan liao lo... Oh dear... gotta do something about it... lols...

Anyways.. time for my yummy porridge

Good Night...

Ignorance

2010-04-19T21:12:00.000+08:00

Amos Bronson Alcott:

To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

There are people around who can make u so piss because of something that they do. I dun understand how some ppl have live their to pretend someone they are not but yet at the same time people around actually know that it is not the real them.

I am so FCUKING piss now because of some idiot... thought it'll be bad of me to say it all out here but overall this person is starting to get on my nerves. If only there is some ways to tell this very paticular person.

I wan to tell this person;

The more clever u think u are, the more stupid it seems u are to me...

There are things that i don't say out loud doesn;t mean i dun notice, i dun feel, it is because i dun wanna show it out that u are such a person.

well it seems that it is not only me, other ppl araound u do feel the same too..

So pls FCUKING wake up, n c... u are not gaining any popularity, instead u are driving your frens away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank Q for listening~ Peace...

12.12am

2010-04-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

I am suppose to sleeping right now...

but it seems i have alot in mind...

it is dragging me away from my comfy bed..

lookin at my room so big and empty..

it seems to be lacking of something...

what shall i do?

i dunno...

still busting all my brain cells thinking...

hope time will tell me quickly...

physical and mentally freaking awake...

pls show me some insight soon.......

To have or not?

2010-03-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

I guess it is really true, as u get older the less daring u become.

Am i becoming one?

This year I'm at already 25, 1 quarter of my life gone.. though no regrets but i have accomplish nothing, no future, no companion, no money, no career... no nothing. So what have i been doing all this while?

Seriously... if I wan to put it into words, I have been enjoying everything bits of my life with the ups n downs that i have been through.

Maybe i can start finding a companion for myself, but i have no quality that attracts good guys i guess, or any guys at all.

A family is what every girls want, but for me i guess i prefer having a baby more than having a husband. I mean I guess I have a high expectation. What do u wan from a husband, your companion, soulmate, best friends? I dunno, taking care or me = but i can do that myself, be there for me through my ups n downs = my 5 babies and my family can be there too, to love me = refer to the previous answer, the list can go on n on n on but my answer basically will be same. I know my family cannot always be there for me forever, especially my parents but to complete trust that someone not to betray you, or hurt you in anyway, to love you for who u are no matter u are fat, thin, bitchy, stupid, lazy etc, like your family, do u think i can find one?

I dunno. Lately a lot of friends are getting married one by one, but me still all alone. This kinda sucks.

To have something that i wan badly i may have to give up ona lot of others things.........

Is it worth it? I dunno, i really dunno............

Am i doing the right thing? I also dunno...

There is nothing that I know or i should say I am in control of...

I am scared... having all the negative thoughts in me...

In the end, I decided to pursue what my heart tell me to...

No regrets for me even though if in the end I fell into deep shit.

May whoever is up there bless me with all the luck I need.

Jade

Utter Hopeless

2010-03-18T23:06:00.000+08:00

I dun understand how people around can treat you like shit when I always treat them with respect and kindness. I always believe what comes around goes around, but seriously who likes the bad things happening to them?
Who can you trust nowadays when you can't even trust yourself?
Can anyone tell me or show me some guideline how to protect yourself?
I always go the extra mile for people around me, but is there anyone willing to do the same? I don't know...
Is not like i ask a lot or what, just do not treat me like a stupid, that's all, is it too hard?
It is so easy people can hurt you like that, without you wanting or knowing it....
I don't like it, I hate it!!!
I never voice out myself doesn't mean i dun feel anything..
I try to understand on people behalf but in the end what did I get??
Nothing!!! Pure fakeness
I really have lost hope!!!
I am getting very tired with life has given... obstacles after obstacles i have been thru, i just wan to lie on someone shoulder and they can help me ease some of my burden!!
Maybe i am just asking too much................

1st post of the Year 2010

2010-01-27T15:29:00.000+08:00

Ox Personality = My Personality
The Ox is a very stable and reliable animal. Just like its animal counterpart that goes day after day helping the farmer to plough the field without a complaint, Ox people are very hardworking, stick at a task longer than anyone else and keep going. They are very meticulous and systematic and prefer to stick with the known rather than the unknowns. Ox people also divide the world into 2 categories – the good and the bad and they stick with their decisions without any regrets.

The Ox can be even-tempered for most part but if you have managed to anger the Ox then start running immediately because they can be very impulsive when they get angry. The Ox people are very possessive and protective in nature especially when it comes to family. They can very stubborn and conservative, but they are also very patient and caring which makes them a very good friend to have.

In love the Ox people usually choose a partner who will be quick to put a protective arm around them in times of need and their love for someone usually lasts a lifetime.

So what is the conclusion? Am I Like that?

Step by Step..

2009-12-03T19:32:00.002+08:00

Recently come to the abrupt realization that my life isn't going anyway, it is not anything close to what I wanted it to be? How can I let my life rot away like that? Whether it's spurred by a mid-life crisis, a near-death experience, a psychedelic epiphany, or a painful separation, a must is needed to change the direction that my life is heading.
Things I Should Do

1. Try to remember what I've always wanted. What did I dream about being and doing? At many points in my lives, when I encounter obstacles, I tend to settle. What have I settled for? What did I give up on when I settled? Not saying I regret what is did but just re-evaluating me again.
2. Be honest with myself. Pretending that my life is great when it's really not is only going to make things worse. Am I? Sure, I've got plenty to be grateful for, but there's nothing wrong with seeking more growth and fulfillment. Trying not to feel that by wanting more, I’m forsaking what I already have.
3. Write down my goals. Where do I want to be in 5 years? 10 years? What do I want to accomplish before you die? Seriously I really don’t know. I know this is bad but I am trying my best. Oh well, we always need to start somewhere don’t we?
4. Consider making a big change. Switch careers, move to a different area, or end a relationship that's bringing me down. Stop my life from becoming one big routine. Easy said that done. Been there, done that, but somehow going out of that zone is so much more difficult than I thought.
5. Expand my comfort zone. Do something that's completely out of character. Shave my head, wear a miniskirt, try karaoke, do a cartwheel barefoot on the grass, etc. Be spontaneous and daring. Even if it has nothing to do with my goals, stepping out of my comfort zone will help me get used to facing my fears, especially people's reactions when I do something they'd never expect you to do. So maybe I should start doing something crazy now.
6. Remember that it is my life to live. I should choose what is best for me but at the same time I have this invisible burden to live up to people expectation. Not saying it is not good, maybe I am weak or I give up easily, but I just can’t deal with pressure in a good way.

Tips I found

* The key is to stay focused on your dreams, no matter how far you may be from accomplishing them. If you don't remember what you want out of life, it's awfully easy to lose your way.
* Focus on what matters the most to you and pursue it unmistakably to the point of being able to grasp only a moment.
* It is better to have experience than not.
* Don't ever think "It's too late," or "I'm too old." It's never too late, and you can never be too old to find happiness. Read Maria Shriver's book "Just Who Will You Be?"
* Visualize yourself as being the way you want to be. See yourself being congratulated, or hugged for what you have done.
* Visualization is very powerful. If done often, it can work.
* Don't hang out with people that bring you down no matter how close to you they are (family, old friends, etc).
* Be patient. Remember that this develops over time. Fluctuations occur throughout the day.
* Soothe and replenish your spirit.
o Quiet your mind. Sit quietly to free and empty your mind of thought.
o Rest frequently. Find a comfortable spot to unwind, relax or take a nap. (My favorite because I am always doing this.)
o Learn to meditate. ( Perhaps daydreaming is a good start. )
o Free yourself of stress and worries.
* Keep everything simple. Try not to do everything at once. There's no rush to do anything. (Taking note.)
* Experience the current moment. Think only of what is at hand. Think less about the past or future. Today is different from the past. (True, True)
* Try not to prejudge. Be open to experience. Let go of bias and expectation. (Am trying.)
* Be happy. Take time to do the things that make you happy. Satisfy your desires. (Oh no, does that mean I need to have more retail therapy?)
* Have pride. You are who you are. Take pride in your individuality. (I do but….)
* Be content. Find contentment in where you are, who you are and what you are doing. (I do, too much more than needed.)
* Take responsibility. Rectify your errors when possible. Relieve your mind. (I hope I did/)
* Be pleasant. Be kind and courteous. It warms your heart as well. (Am I not?)
* See beauty. See the beauty in everyone and everything. (Erm….)
* Fall in love. Fall in love with everyone you meet. Enjoy the spirit in others. (Okay… People.. I’m coming…)
* Take your time. Take the time to experience and enjoy your journey. (Too much time has been taken.)
* Take it easy. Remind yourself that this is for you and nobody else. (sure)
* Be private. Keep this to yourself. Let no one interfere with your inner needs. (A bit hard for me though since I can’t keep things to myself.)

Starting from Scratch..

2009-12-03T18:54:00.001+08:00

Starting over again, whether if is a result of a divorce or death, or relationship break up, can be painful to experience. Starting again, has caused many a hardship, anxiety, separation or depression. We all, at one time or another, have had to pick ourselves up and start again; even the cause was injury that resulted in changing sports. Once finally accept these changes as a part of life can we once again move forward.

Steps to Take

Accept - the fact that changes have to be made in your life. (I want, I need, I must.)

Recognize - what caused the changes. (Many things has happen due to the stupidity, negligence, and ignorance of mine, what done is done, what said is said, Now it needs to be let go and move forward.)

Meet - others. (Attending socials and not feeling guilty about it. To get on with my life and be happy again. Do I deserve it? Can I do it?)

Forgiveness – (It is an essential of from others and myself. The feeling of guilty about things had happen, and to seek that forgiveness from my loved one is a impossible task for me. I want to own up to what I have done completely but I can’t. Am listening to those who are there to help and trying my best to overcome the barriers to my wellness that I have placed in my way.)

Tips I got

Never say, "I should have done things differently," or "if only I knew." Blame can be like poison in the body. Accept what has happened and go on with your life because you really cannot change a thing.

Finding a new job or a new sport can be the start of a new life. You may find that it will be the best thing that has happened to you, something you have always wanted to do, but never had the nerve to change.

Rearrange the furniture. Sometimes the memories of a room or a house can be hard to shake. Take an afternoon and rearrange the furniture, pictures, etc. It will start feeling new and fresh and the memories of your new place will be all yours.

Spend time with people that make you feel good and make you feel positive. You may find that old friends are bringing you down. Change the patterns and surround yourself with people who make you feel better or encourage your self improvement. Sometimes the best way to start over is to cut out the negatives.

I want to start all over again!

2009-12-03T18:25:00.003+08:00

START OVER

If you've started out in pursuit of your goal
And you've really tried with your heart and your soul,
but somehow things got out of control ---
START OVER.

When you've tried your best to do what you should
And you thought this time that you surely would,
But once again, you didn't do good ---
START OVER.

When you've worked so hard to follow a dieter's way
And you fought to win a victory each day
But one more time you went astray ---
START OVER.

When you've tried so hard to yourself to be true
And do the things that you know you should do
But once again you failed to come through ---
START OVER.

When the road to success seemed much too long
And each temptation was oh so strong
And once again you gave in to wrong ---
START OVER.

When you've told your friends what you planned to do
And trusted them to help you through
But soon discovered it's up to you ---
START OVER.

When you know you must be physically fit,
But your hope seems gone and you're stuck in a pit
That's not the time for you to quit ---
START OVER.

When the week seems long and successes few
And at weigh-in time you're feeling blue
Remember tomorrow is just for you ---
START OVER.

To start again means a victory's been won
And starting over again means a race well run
And starting over again proves it can be done
So don't just sit there ---
START OVER.

What is depression

2009-09-14T00:45:00.003+08:00

Depression is a "whole-body" illness, involving your body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.

The symptoms of depression may vary from person to person, and also depend on the severity of the depression. Depression causes changes in thinking, feeling, behavior, and physical well-being.

Changes in Thinking - You may experience problems with concentration and decision making. Some people report difficulty with short term memory, forgetting things all the time. Negative thoughts and thinking are characteristic of depression. Pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt, and self-criticism are all common. Some people have self-destructive thoughts during a more serious depression.

Changes in Feelings - You may feel sad for no reason at all. Some people report that they no longer enjoy activities that they once found pleasurable. You might lack motivation, and become more apathetic. You might feel "slowed down" and tired all the time. Sometimes irritability is a problem, and you may have more difficulty controlling your temper. In the extreme, depression is characterized by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Changes in Behavior - Changes in behavior during depression are reflective of the negative emotions being experienced. You might act more apathetic, because that's how you feel. Some people do not feel comfortable with other people, so social withdrawal is common. You may experience a dramatic change in appetite, either eating more or less. Because of the chronic sadness, excessive crying is common. Some people complain about everything, and act out their anger with temper outbursts. Sexual desire may disappear, resulting in lack of sexual activity. In the extreme, people may neglect their personal appearance, even neglecting basic hygiene. Needless to say, someone who is this depressed does not do very much, so work productivity and household responsibilities suffer. Some people even have trouble getting out of bed.

Changes in Physical Well-being - We already talked about the negative emotional feelings experienced during depression, but these are coupled with negative physical emotions as well. Chronic fatigue, despite spending more time sleeping, is common. Some people can't sleep, or don't sleep soundly. These individuals lay awake for hours, or awaken many times during the night, and stare at the ceiling. Others sleep many hours, even most of the day, although they still feel tired. Many people lose their appetite, feel slowed down by depression, and complain of many aches and pains. Others are restless, and can't sit still.

Now imagine these symptoms lasting for weeks or even months. Imagine feeling this way almost all of the time. Depression is present if you experience many of these symptoms for at least several weeks. Of course, it's not a good idea to diagnose yourself. If you think that you might be depressed, see a psychologist as soon as possible.
A psychologist can assess whether you are depressed, or just under a lot of stress and feeling sad. Remember, depression is treatable. Instead of worrying about whether you are depressed, do something about it. Even if you don't feel like it right now.

So tell me what can i do........

Depression

2009-09-14T00:41:00.001+08:00

Depression is

depression is when you can't sleep and you get so bored looking at your roof, that you spend weeks nights contemplating what to do with it only to find that you wouldn't have enough determination to do it.
depression isn't always suicide.
depression is ovbious to only yourself. suicide is ovbious to everyone.
depression is, and always will be, my, and many others, mays of life.
depression runs my life. makes me do things i shouldn't do.
depression is that voice in the back of your head telling you, that you need help.
depression makes you gain weight, loose weight, not eat, eat too much.. do drugs. give or take a few.
depression has the feeling of death, without the dying part.
depression is still killing you even if you have the best things in the world.
depression isn't just having too little, it's having too much as well.
depression is never seeing your father happy.
depression is loosing your brother too his girlfriend.
depression is the killing of the broken pieces of your heart.
depression is slow motion and fast motion at the same time.
depression is the illusion that the world has turned it's back on you and everyone in it.
depression is seeing happiness everywhere you go.
depression is hoping to survive and hoping not to at the same time.
depression isn't contemplating suicide, but wishing you were already there.
depression is when the only thing that cares is the depression itself.
depression is when you are at school and you can't remember things you learnt in grade 5.
depression is falling alseep in your favourite subject.
depression is hating yourself because your parents hate you.
depression is the hatred of your family.
depression eats your insides witha smile on it's face.
depression is the look in your eyes when you wake up in the morning, knowing you have to live another day.
depression is yourself. you are depression.
depression makes you who you are and who you'll always never want to be.
depression makes you miss your old self, but once your better, you miss depression.
but for me, mostly, depression is all of these, plus, depression is when you have had it so long that you are scared of who you will be when and if you get better. you wonder if you could survive happy and if the happiness would eat you.
now ask yourself.. do you have depression?

Not Written By Myself
but i am feeling right now

Feedback

2009-09-07T10:44:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder,
What do you see when you look in the mirror every morning?

I see a girl, chubby rounded face with chubby rounded body, messy hair, sleepy face looking right back at me..

Apart from that, is that all i see?
People always said 'Never jugde the book by its cover'.. is that true?

Is appearance that important in our daily life?
No doubt it is but is it the most important one?

What about her personality?
What about her character?
Is she a nice person?
Is she a good friend?
Is she the perfect girlfriend?
Is she a bitch?

Endless question awaits ahead..

How much does the girl in the mirror know about herself?
I don't know..

Is she real or is she fake?
Is she doing the right thing?

I don't even know if i like what I see in the mirror, the girl standing there with the questioning eyes...

Message send from above,....

2009-08-03T21:20:00.001+08:00

Despair is not weak;
It is strong.
It fights against our hope.
It fights against our determination.
It fights even against our heart's conviction-light.

Despair is drowning me,
My life boat
And my joy divine.
I must destroy the despair-night
To shine in Eternity's sunshine.

Do not learn to love despair.
If you do that,
Never will you be able to repair
The painful damage
To your poor life.

Rainy Day Sucks...

2009-07-11T12:59:00.001+08:00

Rain comes in various sizes.
Some rain is as small as a mist.
It tickles your face with surprises,
And tingles as if you'd been kissed.

Some rain is the size of a sprinkle
And doesn't put out the sun.
You can see the drops sparkle and twinkle,
And a rainbow comes out when it's done.

Some rain is as big as a nickel
And comes with a crash and a hiss.
It comes down too heavy to tickle.
It's more like a splash than a kiss.

When it rains the right size and you're wrapped in
Your rainclothes, it's fun out of doors.
But run home before you get trapped in
The big rain that rattles and roars.

so do u like rainy days?

I have been a bad gal!!!

2009-07-10T20:33:00.003+08:00

I am living my life behind the shadows at the moment!
Really dunno how to deal with my life anymore...
It has been filled with so much negative emotions this early year that all i can do is accept the fact that this is just not my year!
Slacking, Lazy, Unlucky, shit happen- is this all excuses from me or careless or just plain fate!!

Despite me having all these troubles and negative thoughts, there is one thing I am happy though..
I have my family and frens like Panda, Fish for me oh!!!
It is good enough for me to create a smile whenever I think of them.

no thanks is good enough to show how I feel!!

I really appreciate you,
Your helpful, giving ways,
And how your generous heart
Your unselfishness displays.I thank you for your kindness,
I will not soon forget;
Both of you are one of the nicest people
I have ever met.

Love the both of you!!!

Awesome-Ness

2009-07-05T20:08:00.001+08:00

Life can be so full of unexpected moment!
U never know what is coming your way..
It may be good or it may be bad...
Sometimes what u wish for, u dun get any...
But there is those special times where your ultimate wish is granted to you without you hoping or expecting it.

Life can be awesome, Life can be hell.
But no matter what u can't stop it, u can't predict only to accept it.
As for me, I'll just take whatever it is given to me! But dun expect me to give in without a struggle.

I have my fair share of the good n bad, this wud not put me down but only to make me stronger!!
I cannot guaranteed I'm always prepared for it but I am willing to face it.

Life is just plain sucky at times but now I am feeling the awesome-ness of it slowly!!!

Yea!! Jade is back alive.

Jennifer Hudson : If This Isn't Love Lyrics

2009-07-05T01:52:00.002+08:00

I’m calling his phone up
Just to tell him how much
I really love him ‘cause
His everything I want
He listens to me, he cares for me
So I truly believe

God sent me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

I’m selfish ‘cause I don’t
Wanna share him with nobody
Not even knows
People that came before me
But see, I never believed

God would send me an angel
Up from above
That’s gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It’s the only way I can describe, so

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn’t love

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh

So if you got real love
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
The kind of love that fits quite like a drug
Lemme see you put your hands up
See you put your hands up
If this isn’t love
‘Cause I know I ain’t crazy
I know I ain’t tripping
I know I ain’t slipping
I know that is love
You see me with my hands up
If you think I’m dreaming
I know I ain’t dreaming
‘Cause this is the reason I love him because
If this isn’t love

It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
It this isn’t love, tell me what it is
‘Cause I never felt like this baby

L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love
L-O-V-E, what is in me
L-O-V-E, oh if this isn’t love

Love, L-O-V-E
Love, L-O-V-E

Delta Goodrem : In This Life Lyrics

2009-07-05T01:51:00.000+08:00

I was nurtured I was sheltered
I was curious and young
I was searching for that something
Trying to find it on the run
Oh and just when I stopped looking
I saw just how far I'd come
In this life
In this life

[Chorus]
You give me love
You give me light
Show me everything that's been happening
I've opened up my eyes
Following
Three steps fight an honest fight
Two hearts that can start a fire
One love is all I need
In this life

I have faltered I have stumbled
I have found my feet again
I've been angry I've been shaken
Found a new place to begin
My persistence to make a difference
Has led me safe into your hands
In this life
In this life

[Chorus]

I was put here for a reason
I was born into this world
And I'm living and I'm believing
I was meant to be your girl
In this life

[Chorus]

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

2009-07-04T03:19:00.002+08:00

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

Jade Back to Earth

2009-07-02T17:25:00.000+08:00

A lot has happen to me for the past 2 months.....
A lot of Ups n down... Bumpy road everywhere...
But i manage to grip it tight and , n come over it!!!!!
so what is my update of my recent news?

Frankly speakin a dunno... for those that know me, i recently have the same problem which i have before... but now it is solved...

I wished for u all to be here for me!!! Maybe a hug will be nice or just scold me!! cause i really need it!!!!

I also dunno how to explain my everything but i am glad i am still in one piece!!

Well... life still need to go on....
I'll be back soon.. for more...

Elliot Yamin - Apart From Me

2009-06-06T09:35:00.001+08:00

It's hard for me - To think
Hard for me - To eat
Losing sleep cause you're gone
& I can't do it alone
Since you can't be found
Hasn't hanging around
And I can't take it
I just can't do it alone

I've never thought to take it this far
Tell me how am I supposed to make it
Being here all by myself, just me
You're killing meeee

Ooh you broke my heart and left it wide open... dammmn
How can you be apart from mee
That's like trying to breathe with one lung
Or trying to live with no water
Just like a daughter with no father
That aint the way it's supposed to be
How can you be apart from meeee, me, yeah x2

I can't hardly
Stand aside I was feeling weak
Cause you're gone
Why you wanna do this alone
You say you had enough
How you're gonna give up
Girl I'm missing the love
And I can't fake it yeah
And I don't wanna do this alone, no

I never thought I could take it this far
Tell me how am I supposed to make it
being here all by myself, just me
You know you're killing meeee

Ooh you broke my heart and left it wide open... dammmn
How can you be apart from mee
That's like trying to breathe with one lung
Or trying to live with no water
Just like a daughter with no father
That aint the way it's supposed to be
How can you be apart from mee

Almost like the coldest only night
Without the stars up in the skies
I never saw this coming never
you know you're killing me

Ooh you broke my heart and left it wide open... dammmn
How can you be apart from mee
That's like trying to breathe with one lung
Or trying to live without no water
Just like a daughter with no father
That aint the way it's supposed to be
How can you be apart from me
How can you be apart from me
How can you be apart from mee
How can you be apart from mee, mee, yeah

Can I?

2009-06-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen; it happens
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1	You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2	Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
3	People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4	Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you. But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try: Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line Call a psychotherapist Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5	Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.

Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Who Am I?

2009-06-04T09:20:00.001+08:00

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

New Pup

2009-05-12T12:08:00.005+08:00

German Sherperd puppy

ther names

Alsatian
Berger Allemand
Deutscher Schäferhund
GSD
Schäferhund
Police Dog

Country of origin

Germany

Traits
Weight	Male	30–40 kilograms (66–88 lb)
	Female	22–32 kilograms (49–71 lb)
Height	Male	60–65 centimetres (24–26 in)
	Female	55–60 centimetres (22–24 in)
Coat
Color	Most commonly black and tan
Litter size	5-10
Life span	7 - 10 years

Belgian Sherperd

Other names

Belgian Sheepdog, Chien de Berger Belge

Country of origin

Belgium

Traits
Weight	Male	29–34 kg (65–75 lb)
	Female	25–32 kg (55–70 lb)
Height	Male	61–66 cm (24–26 in)
	Female	53–63 cm (21–25 in)
Coat	Four different types
Litter size	6-10 pups
Life span	12–14 years

^{Recently i got myself a Shepherd pup, whether it is a German Shepherd or Belgian Shepherd, I really don't know.
so JUDGE it yourself.}This is Samantha.

Friendship

2009-04-22T19:41:00.006+08:00

Mummy Mummy, u c I'm clean!!!

Wait wait I am flying soon!!!

Three little pigs

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost

"Portrait of a Friend"

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

Sunbathing

Watcha looking at?

I'm Blur!!!!

"Why GOD Gave Us Friends"

GOD knew that everyone needs Companionship and cheer,
He knew that people need someone
Whose thoughts are always near.
He knew they need someone kind
To lend a helping hand.
Someone to gladly take the time
To care and understand.
GOD knew that we all need someone
To share each happy day,
To be a source of courage
When troubles come our way.
Someone to be true to us,
Whether near or far apart.
Someone whose love we'll always
Hold and treasure in our hearts.

That's Why GOD Gave Us Friends!

That is why a Piggy, Panda and Fish are friends too!!

Fish

Panda

Piggy

Lazy Mode

2009-04-20T23:48:00.005+08:00

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

There are times where we all feel just to be lazy and doing nothing for the whole day...or just wanna laze around and sleep..but sometimes it proves so relaxing and refreshing while at other times it just irritates the other person..lol..

Have u ever been lazy for the whole day and what was ur experience..what do u prefer to do if u plan to be lazy.. After a long hols, I'm still in the lazy mode, haven switch back to the study mode even though today is the starting of new week.

This is me when I wake up in the morning

this is me while typing this post

this is me later when i am lying on my bed.

So how do we overcome laziness?

We are all lazy people. We love to procrastinate, we find comfort in sleeping, we idle away time as though it were a useless commodity, and we have all built our personal utopias where we do everything except work.

It’s perfectly natural to be lazy. I imagine that if it wasn’t for the deadlines and binding commitments that force us to do work, none of us would go back to those dungeons, aka offices.

Thankfully though, we realize that laziness should be overcome in order for us to be successful and be useful to the society.

So, what to do to beat laziness and reclaim the lost inspiration?

Take action

If you don’t feel like reading, read. If you don’t feel like writing, write. If you don’t feel like doing exercise, do it. In short, action is the best motivation. The only thing that stops us from getting sucked into a task is not doing it, so do it now!

Take one bite at a time

Does the idea of taking your whole meal in one massive bite sound repulsive? Luckily, you can take it one bite at a time, enjoy it, and still consume the whole meal.

Likewise, if you try to do everything together, you lose motivation to do anything at all. Therefore, it’s best to split a bigger task into smaller ones and concentrate on only one part at a time. The less formidable the work, the more you’ll enjoy doing it.

Remove the distractions

When being lazy, we are often attracted to the distractions. Bloggers are found browsing others’ blogs when they are supposed to be writing theirs, and students are found watching TV when they should be studying. These are all distractions that serve no good purpose. If you remove the distractions, for example, by disconnecting from the Internet and by locking the TV room, you’ll notice that it becomes easier to get back to the work.

Find motivation

Why are you doing work? It is easy to forget the purpose of work with time. Remind yourself of how important your work is for you, for your personal satisfaction, for your life, family and so on. If you feel you are not clear about the purpose of what you are doing, it’s time to recap the goals you set down when you started.

Reward yourself

Discipline and schedules are all good and well, but do we want to become robots? This the very thing we dread and that is what leads us to lose motivation. You’ll be more enthusiastic to complete a task when you know you are going to reward yourself at the end.

We usually agonize over the fact that we are being lazy, yet continue to procrastinate for hours. It becomes difficult to get out of this condition unless we force ourselves to take action, which is, admittedly, the most difficult part. Though once we set about doing a task, the laziness disappears like a magician’s trick.

What is it that keeps you busy and motivated?

Am back

2009-04-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

After a long free week, am back from my china trip..
Feel so lazy so i've been hibernating back at home with my family...

But now its time to start everything all over again but fresh this time...
wish me luck!!

chat next time.. i am sick again.. damn..

Say Cheese

2009-03-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

Smiling makes us forever young.

"Frown and you frown alone, but smile and the whole world smiles with you." Its not just any smile will do, though.

It must be a genuine, infectious smile that can make a bad date turn good, seal a business deal, and help you make friends wherever you go.

First and foremost, of course must have a good hygiene. I mean if you got food stuck on your teeth how to have infectious smile? Actual infections most probably. So make sure u are hardworking bout the whole routine like brushing the teeth, flossing, fresh breath, no stained teeth, chapped lips, etc. Why all this troublesome you might ask, because when you smile people will inevitably look at your mouth, so in order to have a better impression, and most importantly, a healthy mouth will make you feel more confident bout smiling.

a healthy mouth will make you feel more confident about smiling.

A smile lights up your face. So get comfortable with smiling. Many people are a little nervous about smiling. They don't think their smile looks good, or they think that smiling makes them look unprofessional or vulnerable. It's true that a smile does show a little vulnerability, but that's part of what makes it so powerful. No matter how professional, intelligent, or in control you think a serious face (or worse, a frown) makes you appear, people almost always respond better to a smile.

Think happy thoughts. The easiest way to a great smile is to be happy. You can be happy all the time, but not everybody is; when you are not, you can think happy thoughts instead. Think about something or someone that you care about, or think about a joke that you just find hilarious. Remarkably, when you're feeling down, smiling can help cheer you up, even if you have to coax a smile out at first.

Smiles are contagious. You gotta smile with your eyes. When we think of smiling, we think of the mouth, but the eyes may actually be more essential to a warm, genuine smile. Its hard to describe-but when you see it, you know it: it's that look of your eyes "lighting up" or "twinkling."

You've probably heard of "contagious" or "infectious" smiles. There's a reason for this. When you smile, it does tend to make others around you smile. Even in the most stressful times, a roomful of smiles can brighten everybody's mood. Either that or make someone seriously angry at you, just because you are smiling when they are talking about someones funeral...

Ever laugh hysterically about something you've just seen? Now, think of that instance again will help fuel a full blown smile.

Try a light smile: dont show as much teeth as you would when you would be laughing. It's the best smile for flirting - light and seductive..

Body language reflects our innermost feelings, and it's often easier to change our attitudes than to try to make our bodies communicate emotions we don't really feel, like if you are very huge smile when someone looks at you, you will look like a freak. So keep a tiny smile and not a big one.

So smile often to lighten up your life.

This is dedicated to Hung Hung Panda and Fishy Boobies. Hope it will enlighten u. =0)

What is life?

2009-03-26T14:45:00.010+08:00

(Miss the time when I am still innocent and naive)

I think at my this age of mine, I have come to this stage where we start thinking all sort of freaking things. Life is a puzzle. Sometimes it makes us laugh. Sometimes it makes us cry.

We deal with different events and stages in life different ways. A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose - a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve. But is it that easy to say and done?

A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. A large volume of adventures may be grasped within this little span of life, by him who interests his heart in everything.

Now people say, A message prepared in the mind reaches a mind; a message prepared in a life reaches a life. (Is that true?) So are u well- prepared for your life?

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience. (Do you agree?) Personally I think its true sometimes.

Above all be of single aim; have a legitimate and useful purpose and devote yourself unreservedly to it. (easy to say than done)

All of us have at least one great voice deep inside. (Maybe, too much then it means u have mental problem.)

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. (Totally agreed)

Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. (But why there are still mean people)
Now before I continue, let's us cool down by looking at this pic

Just in case, u ppl don't know who is he - he is Wenworth Miller, from prison. Issn't he a hunk? (drooling)

Anyways, a housemate of mine said, we are aging everyday. That's is so true, no matter how u much u wan to deny it, the process is still going on. So I was thinking, why waste it when everyday or every second, hr etc. U can learn something new. Make full use of everything. Enjoy it to the fullest, dun u think so?

A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it should give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world. About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. (What do u think?)

Age considers; youth ventures.

Age is a matter of feeling...not of years.

As a man grows older it is harder and harder to frighten him.

You'll find as you grow older that you weren't born such a great while ago after all. The time shortens up.

Youth is a circumstance you can't do anything about. T

he trick is to grow up without getting old.

So how are you dealing at this stages of your life?

Laugh

2009-03-24T13:18:00.004+08:00

No one can make you laugh quite the way your friends can, and there's nothing like sharing a few funny friendship quotes with those closest to you to make your day shine a bit brighter.

Here are 18 of my favorite funny friendship quotes to share with those you love. I hope you enjoy these funny friendship quotes as much as I like sharing them with you!

1. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." ~ Bernard Meltzer

2. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." ~ Benjamin Franklin

3. "Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy." ~ Spike Milligan

4. "A true friend stabs you in the front." ~ Oscar Wilde

5. "Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." ~ Anonymous

6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." ~ Jim Hayes

7. "Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods." ~ Esther M. Clark

8. "Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice." ~ Anonymous

9. "I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street." ~ Virginia Woolf

10. "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate." ~ Thomas Jones

11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" ~ Archie Bunker

12. "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." ~ John Leonard

13. "We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." ~ Benjamin Franklin

14. "Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families." ~ Anonymous

15. "Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected." ~ Charles Lamb

16. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ~ Winnie the Pooh

17 "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." ~ Mark Twain

18. "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis

As you can see, funny friendship quotes are a great way to remember what makes our friendships so special and our friends so dear. Share a few of these funny friendship quotes with the friends who make your life a brighter and your days a delight.

so when is the last time u have a good laugh...
so wat are u waiting for?

laugh ppl!!
ha ha ha ha..lols

Disaster Moment...

2009-03-15T12:22:00.004+08:00

Accident.. hurt my right hand, the muscle i guess..follow by a scam from the towing company..
back at home everyone diarrhea...

Wat in the world is happening...
Damn.. its weird..

Just Tuesday morning, a classmate was telling how he and his car got into a accident.. blah blah blah (Sabah car), and later that afternoon me and my housemate on the way home at pujut 3, we got into an accident too.. Sabah car too. then later that night the same day... on the way to town to have dinner, we saw another minor car accident.. sabah car also, hear one, actually in one, see one all in the same day, morning, afternoon, night... freakin crazy... u tell me...

Hurt my cacat right hand... now its still feelin numb, on n off... sien!!! Its the muscle problem i think...

Went back Brunei, everyone at home diarhhea.... especially my bro... so kasian....
Dunno shud envy him or laugh at him, he's those ppl who eat too much.. he will get sick...lols

anyways... while typing this I feel like I am in sauna.. sweating like hell...

so hot so hot so hot...

Falling

2009-03-08T14:27:00.005+08:00

Have u ever feel like you want to fall into a deep deep deep pit but at the same time u want to be save?

I have, this very minute.
Just finish talking to a friend, I am very happy for her for she has been freed from her problems at least one of the major problems that is.

Me, I am not sure, I have lots of things to be worried about, My Studies, My Life, My Future, My Family.

So what can I do? Can you help me for I am not a good at multitasking. (>_<)

signing off now... ciao

LOVE STORY (ENGLISH) - RAIN

2009-03-07T19:17:00.002+08:00



Hey
This is my story
It's true
OK, listen

Oh baby, you're to me like the sun that's in the sky
That bathes me in your warmth and returns again and again
When you're by my side, I know somehow it'd be all right
Just like a fool, I let you go and lost you to pride

How could I have been so unwise? Ummm...
Didn't realize that I was so in love with you till now
I still wanna hold you in my arms
But it's too late, it's no use, I don't know what to do
I'm all alone

CHORUS
Every night, the story of my love
Is like a scene playin' before my eyes repeatedly
And now I cry out to you for the wrongs that I've done
Hoping that you will come back
Yeah, I love you
I still love you, baby

My life is now so incomplete
What should I do for you to truly forgive me?
How can I live without you?
Baby, come back to me
Forever, I'll wait for you, yeah...
To tell you my heart will never change

Stop my breath today; take my heartbeat away
I can't forget your love; it haunts me again and again
Pictures of your smile beckon me from all these blank walls
Like a lost soul searching blindly, shadows fill my eyes

How could I have been so selfish? Oh no...
Didn't notice that you meant so much till you were gone from my side
How could I live with all this pain? No, no...
My world grows ever so dim; oh, I was such a fool
It's all my fault

Repeat chorus

It's bringing me down
Tearing me apart
I need you so much; I'm begging to you down on my knees
You're the only one
There's just no one else, yeah...
All I need is to forever dwell in your love
But now I know, I can't speak these empty words to you
I love you so; let me prove my love to you once more
This time, my heart is true
Believe in me and you
And now, please listen to me
Just one more time

Repeat chorus

Baby, please come back to me
I miss you, baby


* A nice song to hear, its been on my player whole day long...
Something to share with you all

Life..

2009-03-07T19:13:00.002+08:00

Life is funny sometimes.
It is so full surprises. U won't know whether it is good or bad.
It'll always show you something out of the extra ordinary unexpectedly. Just when you think everything is all right, somewhere somehow a new exercise will be given to you to remind you, to test you so that you'll learn something new and at the same time you won't forget what u need to remember and learn.

Last night, i had a weird but funny conversation with 2 lovely ppl.. Ruby and Silver.
It reminded me bout the good old days where all my frens are still here in Miri. The fun that we had, the crazy stuff that we did, everything single thing gives me a happy smile.

BUT, everyone have their own path to fight, I can't expect them to stay behind just for me, that will be so selfish. Hopefully someday our path will cross each other and we can meet again.

I have my own path to explore too...

神木與瞳 - 武裝的薔薇

2009-03-05T09:33:00.002+08:00

神木與瞳武裝的薔薇

空氣漸漸的凝結重複著將我破碎
一再的試探詭辯想考驗誰的極限
不再容忍你的罪揮手再見終結掉你的一切

我看不見你說的後悔我不在乎你的感覺
你的抱歉是最後的紀念武裝的薔薇倔強的凋謝

(RAP)這一切早就該停止掉淚
這一切早就該停止受罪
受夠了所有的欺騙拆穿你所有的謊言

空氣漸漸的凝結重複著將我破碎(怎麼追怎麼追怎麼追)

這一天我的愛不再兌現這一天我的愛灰飛煙滅
所有回憶都要摧毀還給你的都要加倍

一再的試探詭辯想考驗誰的極限

我看不見你說的後悔我不在乎你的感覺
你的抱歉是最後的紀念武裝的薔薇倔強的凋謝

走到終點燭火熄滅殘存世界一片漆黑
攀附邊緣蔓生糾結斷刺作廢

我看不見你的後悔我不在乎你的感覺
你的抱歉最後紀念武裝的薔薇最後倔強的凋謝

Why this song u may ask ?
I don't know, but it is a very nice song!
The rock melody ease my heart.
I wish i can translate the whole song for you ppl...

("_)

thinking...

2009-03-05T09:24:00.002+08:00

9.07am

Am awake physically but mentally still not functioning..

A fruitful and happy trip to KL, Grace's Wedding was fun
Met some of my old frens and lecturer and got to know some new frens too *happy*.

Anyways, life is still same old same old for me, nothing has changes much but there are small little things which i don't know how to describe, but u can feel it changing bit by bit.

Things change!
Ppl change!
Everything Change!

Some are drastic changes, some are just minor changes, but anyhow it is still a change.There is many things, issues, and situations, that can cause a person to change.

A person can change, for a number of reasons, and in many different ways. Often a person changes, from experiences he/she learns from.

All through life, you are going to learn things, from different experiences. These different experiences, can be good or bad. Experiences can teach you, how to deal with certain changes in your life.

Learning from different experiences, can change the way a person thinks and feels about something.

The way a person thinks, is a huge factor on his/her life, and the factor on the people around that person. The way you act and think, effects people you are around often. If you treat people calmly with respect, they will know you truely know how to treat people the right way.

A person can also change, mentally and physically. Good or bad, this can make a difference in the particular person and for the family of that person.

A person can change his/her appearence. Let's say one person goes on through life, not caring what he/she wears and doesn't care about looking sloppy. One time in that person's life, he/she could decide to buy neater looking clothes, and starts to care about looking neater. That person could start dressing neater, and taking more care of what he/she looks like. Later on, that person could be 100% neater looking, then 2 weeks ago. This person just change a physical out-look, on what his/her appearence. This is something other people will see, and this obviously is a change for the good.

So anyone can tell me, Is it a good or bad?
Because i wan to change.

I want to talk, I miss talking.

Nothing last long....

2009-02-22T14:25:00.004+08:00

New semester..

New day..

New life..

New beginning..

New start..

New me..

Congratulations to me for able to last a day in campus all by my best, well not entirely alone lah..

With the help of Emily, Tony and Hung Hung, i still manage to get my things done mostly by myself. Hopefully i can get thru the semester like this too..

I wan Hung Hung and Fish back.... Now, this very minute!!!!!! I wan; I wan; I wan!!!!!! (this is me having childish tantrums) .

So disliking myself now, for being so weaker mentally...

Logging out now,
Nag of my life

Damsel in Distress

2009-02-22T12:00:00.004+08:00

On a one fine evening on Valentine's Day 2009, my car - Mr. Camry decide to bail out on me. I have no idea what happen to him and I have got nag for not knowing what happen to him. Sometimes I just wish I can drive him into the Kampung Ayer so that my dad can buy me a new car (this is me talking nonsense, don't mind me).

He decided I was not allow to go down to Miri that early (because i decided to go Miri the next day after celebrating Valentines) but luckily it was not much of a big problem.

Soon after that, my grandparents give us a surprise visit with my cousin from Kuching. Not that I dislike or anything, just that most of the time I lost my freedom to speak, act etc. Well u know how elders is, certain things have to go the traditional way plus my grandpa have Alzheimer, so he can be quite difficult at times. Other than that nothing much.

Oh ya, finally my house have Astro, the reason of having Astro is because my grandma likes to watch the Hua Hee Tai channel. So no more potato couch for me. The only time the TV is free is when is about late at night when veryone is asleep. By that time I'm already freaking exchausted.

Despite all the complaining, we had fun too with my cousin. We went to arcade, bank, eat etc. The most memorable nite was we went to play sauna pool. What is sauna pool u might be asking? Its playin pool while breakin out lots of sweat. It is new, fun (i think), but damn HOT!!!!!!

Our Ms Hung Hung, know a thing or two about it, u can ask her.

Well, how that i am able to come down Miri, my laptop decided to quit on me too.
Everything is not going very well for me!!

I think my phone is quitting on me too, its already a bit cacat here and there.
What do u think of LG Renoir?

Am in a very distress and angry mood at the moment, causing to have sleepless nights.

Signing out now with boredom!

P/S: Mr K is back apparently. Surprise Surprise, but why ain't I surprise?

Latest Photo Scandals in Brunei

2009-02-16T13:32:00.000+08:00

After a alarming scandal of some famous HK artists, it seems nowadays there are a lot of news; gossip; blogs to be heard/seen.

Taking the naked pics, whether is candid or willingly, I really dun understand any of the thrill of it.

A very sad thing is that most of them are Asian; I mean for West, it pretty common for them to do so.

But lately its just sprouting out too much from the East here.
Guess I am pretty outdated and old fashioned compared to the youngsters today.

Shame; Humble; Pride; Respect; Honour etc - words like this is not known and understand anymore.

Anyways, I'm in no position to say wat is right or wat is wrong.
I'm just here to spread some gossips.
This is not the latest photo but i have acquired it for quite some time.
Decided now is a right time to exposed them just to go along with flow.

Before u scroll down to look at the pics, pls prepare yourself for worse pic u ever seen.
*read at your own expense*

*here we have Mr. Benji spreading wide open for us.*

*This is Ms. Mu Mu also spreading widely for us to c.*

*This is Mr. Yado, showing us his flexible body.*

* She was drugged and high when the pic is taken*

*Absolutely no idea she was being autograph.*

So wat do u think of this pics?

Is it mind blowing?

Hope u enjoy yourself watching it.

Bye Bye again

*Shhhh... I'm being discreet.*

Newest Family member...

2009-02-15T15:14:00.000+08:00

Drum rolling.. .. .. ..

Ladies and gentleman, let me introduce to you - Mr. Pui Pui (Fat Fat)

Ta da!!

*Am i cute*

Well, just so u know, its a 'He'. I actually tot He was a 'She' before Hung Hung told me bout its gender.
So i kept calling Ms. Pui; Ms. Pui, in de end kena bomb by my mum saying that i make the rabbit 'bondan' (not gal, not boy).

Anyways.. he is just plain adorable, its also my Valentine's present *sweet*.

More pic of my Pui Pui.

*rubbing my ears la, wat cha lookin at?*

* was licking my hand when i took de pic ( am not squeezing the face!!)*

[pls, am eatin.. dun look!]

&
* candid shot of Ah Pui Eating *

His job is eat, sleep, eat, sleep, occasionally he comes out to roam around the house.
The funny thing is my maid is afraid of Mr. Chan Ah Pui.
Nearly laugh my ass off.
Why? I also dunno but she gets along just fine with my Golden army ( Who? I'll leave it for next time ).

Though in a way he remind me of 2 gals...
Who and Wat - That is for me to know and for u to find out. [>_<]

Anyways, i am turning my house to a small animal zoo despite my mum's protest.
Feel to come my house to visit...

Bye Bye, for Now....

Ka-Ching ' The very 1st Post '

2009-02-14T01:28:00.000+08:00

At this moment 1.30am of Valentine's Day 2009, I am typing my very first post for my very first blog.
Hmmmm.. let's c... what can I say here?

No Surprise here from the look of this pic, Its Valentine's Day. Well Peeps, Happy Valentine's. Its a day to show your love, your sincerity, your generosity, your presentation.. blah blah blah.. ( this is applicable to those with gf/bf, have admirers, crush, goin after d 'one' ), cause if u don't, u'll be in big trouble.

Do you know?

Fact:
Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is an occasion celebrated on February 14 by many people [especially lovers] throughout the world.

Fact:
Valentine's Day is celebrated in Asian countries such as Singapore, China and Korea where they spend the most money on Valentine's gifts.

Fact:
In the West, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting bouquet of flowers, or offering confectionery like chocolates [which i prefer handmade].

All rite, before I start talkin lovey-dovey mushy stuff, I'm stopping here to get my beauty sleep.
Again people, Happy Valentines!!!

*A little dedication here to Ms Hung Hung Panda and Miss Fishy Boobies*